Riot Fest 2016
I fully intended on writing this as if I posted it immediately after my first Riot Fest experience, but I think you might find out while reading it that this is so not the case. At the truthful time of writing this, it has been a year and a half since Chicago’s Riot Fest 2016, that year the lineup was so good it killed me and I had to spend my 24th birthday there. I’m going off the notes I took there to recount the three day punk festival, and if you know me, you know this is gonna be wild ride to try to follow so HERE WE GO Y’ALL.
Day 1
People much cooler than me have told me Riot Fest used to be all in one room, on one stage. Not anymore. It’s outside, on many stages, and takes three whole exhausting, hot days.
For this lineup? I’m up for the challenge.
I got to the (arena? venue? field?) and took a quick walk through to check everything out. I bought a t-shirt right off the bat, then went back toward the entrance to buy a locker to stick my backpack in for the day.
It was too hot outside already, so me in my usual uniform of black leggings had to find a Porta Potty to change clothes in. The Porta Potty was SO HOT OH MY GOD KILL ME. Chicago’s not that windy in September apparently.
Next on the agenda was checking out the food. (I am here for music though, right?) There were a ton of food stands on both sides of the (field? Am I calling it a field?) and I managed to find one from my home state of Florida. It’s my birthday. I need my bacon mac’n’cheese and sweet tea.
Diarrhea Planet
I guess I didn’t know which bands I really wanted to see Day 1, because I had never even heard of Diarrhea Planet. But one of my best friends Biz had been texting me all day and after showing him the lineup, this was his recommendation. He showed me pictures of the band throwing things like giant blow-up donuts into the crowd. I’m about it.
They were really fun. There were a shit ton of guitarists and singers all onstage at one time. Punky, grungey, definitely my style. A little bit of a pit formed, but since I was unfamiliar with the music, I didn’t join in.
It started raining a little bit, and I still didn’t quite have a plan for the day, so I ran back to the lockers to hide and charge my phone. With my locker I also bought a place to charge my phone for as long as I needed to. That was super awesome to even be an option. Loved it.
I met a girl named Maria and her friend while seeking shelter. They were really sweet girls from Jersey. I had just dyed my hair like fire (as usual) before making the trek out to Chicago. Maria was a hair stylist, and she loved it, so I let her take pictures of it. I followed her on instagram, but I’m honestly not sure if I ever saw those pictures she took or not.
It was still way too hot to put a jacket on, but now that it was raining I wanted a hood. The struggle. (How did this particular struggle end? The world may never know. I don’t remember jack shit.)
Hellzapoppin
One of the uniquely Riot Fest events was Hellzapoppin, a rated R carnival show. I knew I wanted to catch one of the showings while I was there, and I still didn’t know what else to do Day 1, so I caught one of the earlier showings.
I thought the show would be 20 minutes long. It definitely took like at least an hour or longer.
Hellzapoppin is: The Govna Bryce Graves, Donny Vomit, Hermee, Short E Dangerously, and Frankie Sin. I honestly think some of these performers just don’t have pain receptors or something.
Some things that happened:
* Govna breathed/ate fire
* Donny whipped flowers over his head, behind his back, in his mouth, and joked about his penis
* Hermee made balloon animals one-handed while spinning on a…thing. (Apologies for the lack of description in my notes. Thanks, past Linds.)
* Frankie stepped on knives. (Written in my notes here: “Joked about carrot boobs and cucumber dick.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!)
* Short E, who doesn’t have legs, crowdsurfed and flipped upside down
* There were lots of jokes about hookers with Short E and I was very confused about that
* Hermee, Donny, and Short E did a thing with a nail bed
* They broke a board on Hermee’s stomach while he was laying on the nail bed
* Donny stuck nails into his nose, then a KNIFE
* Graves stuck a SCREWDRIVER with a CONDOM on it into his nose, and pulled the condom out of his MOUTH
* Donny and Graves put POWERDRILLS into their noses together. (Cue me literally screaming and covering my eyes at this point.)
* Frankie came out of a clam shell and stripped. Weird. What am I even watching?! I thought this was a carnival show, not a strip club…
* Graves made popcorn kernels go up his nose and come out of his EYES. EW. (Again, me still not watching most of this, just looking down and screaming.)
* Short E walked on broken glass with his hands
* Hermee made weird sexual balloons
* Donny sword swallowing and balloon literally INGESTING. It made my gag reflex HURT.
The music was all cool and I guess the acts were mostly cool but also kinda super weird.
The big finale was Frankie contorting herself around swords. We had to pay $1 each if we wanted to see it, walking across the stage where she was. I did. It was aight.
Neck Deep
OH GOOD MORE MUSIC.
I don’t actually know much Neck Deep, I just knew I’d heard of them. Why not. Some of it was kinda pop punk, some of it was heavier. I much preferred the pop punk.
I definitely injured my knee somewhere in the day and noticed it here.
I noticed the hardcore fans were in the pit singing and crowdsurfing, while everyone else on the edges were just casually watching. Festivals are weird, dude.
“December” is the one song of theirs that I actually know, and I almost left before they played it, and then turned around and caught it when I heard it starting. I kinda like it.
So yes, I came to Chicago for Riot Fest alone. But I knew two other people who were supposed to be here. Kaleigh (who two years later Lindsay is going to say I’m kinda glad I didn’t actually see there—spoilers—because I don’t like her for reasons. Riot Fest 2016 Lindsay was trying to be her friend though SO) who had traveled from Jersey, and Justin, who actually lives in Chicago and I hadn’t met in person yet.
Day 1 is close to over and I haven’t found either of them yet. WHERE THE HECK ARE MY FRIENDS?!
The first time I put my phone on the charger while I was hiding from the rain, it only went up 4%, so it was still pretty much dead and I had to put it back on the charger and switch to my work phone. Thank god for work phones.
The Porta Potties were all out of toilet paper (and completely gross) by this point. Already. So I passed on that. I guess I’m not peeing until I get to the Metro to see Taking Back Sunday later after Day 1 is over.
My only other plans for the day included Glassjaw and Jimmy Eat World, and then maybe I’d bounce. I was much more excited for Taking Back Sunday than anything else.
Festival food is way too expensive. Here’s a trick I learned: If you ask for JUST rice or JUST chips if they’re part of a meal, they’ll give it to you for half price or less. Fucking score. Also wow I’m cheap af.
Walking through the park (PARK! I’ll call it a park. That’s a word) I could hear Bob Marley’s son playing his songs. Cute.
Glassjaw
I thought I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing Glassjaw again (after seeing them SEVEN times on the Coheed tour and hating every minute of it) and be perfectly happy. So why the HELL was I choosing to see them AGAIN?! CHOOSING?! Linds. Why are you like this.
I like one song. “Ape Dos Mil.” That’s about it. I went to see them play that one song.
The hardcore fans chanting “Glassjaw” amused me. I really don’t like this band.
They played the “times ten times ten times ten” song, and of course, “Ape Dos Mil.” As soon as I heard that one I ran to another stage to catch Jimmy Eat World.
Again, where is Kaleigh? Or Justin? Why are they still MIA?!
Here’s a totally unrelated thing: Apparently people kept tagging me in posts on Facebook about Billie Joe’s movie Ordinary World all day. I saw it at the Tribeca Film Festival when it was still called Geezer. I don’t care, y’all. I’m way ahead of you.
Jimmy Eat World
These guys were on my band bucketlist. I really love them.
They opened with my favorite of their songs, “Bleed American,” while I was walking up. Perfect.
From my notes: “That song I don’t know the name of. Umm another one I don’t know the name of?”
There were crowdsurfers and a little bit of moshing… to Jimmy Eat World? Really? Okay whatever.
I need to buy more of their albums because they’re really great.
They played some new songs, or at least one new one.
Another of my faves, “Sweetness,” and then of course, “The Middle.” I always thought “The Middle” was kinda overplayed and I just really prefer “Bleed American” and “Sweetness” but tonight the lyrics resonated with me for some reason. Sometimes you don’t know when you need it.
All Time Low
This one was not planned. I’m not really a fan. Or maybe I’ve just never given them a chance. Honestly I’m not sure. Regardless, I caught a bit of All Time Low from far away.
They were super catchy. Like to the point of I was learning the words WHILE they played the songs. They honestly put on a good show. They worked the crowd really well, and there was a lot of fire. Let’s be real, I love that. I kept moving closer toward them because I was kinda liking it despite my preconceived notions that they’re too poppy for me.
However, the crowd was still screeching even from far away, so I still was not about to go into that pit. No thank you.
But overall, I was pleasantly surprised by their set. Maybe I should give them a chance. (Two years later spoilers: I still haven’t. Whoops.)
I couldn’t leave anyway because my phone was still at the charging station. (What an excuse, past Lindsay.)
“We’re not Blink 182 or A Day to Remember but we’ve got better hair and better dicks!”
WAIT WHAT DID HE REALLY SAY THAT OH MY GOD
“Missing You” was giving me feels so I finally ditched them to catch part of Basement’s set at another stage because I’d heard good things about them.
Basement
They played Gilman one show I randomly happened upon and the line was LONG. I never see lines at Gilman. This meant that they definitely have a following. I left early that night so I didn’t actually see them play, but I guess now’s my chance to make up for it.
It was really dark and a lot quieter there than it was over at All Time Low. They were good. Honestly they probably won’t stick out to me too much, but I did like them. They were kinda punky but also kinda…not? Indie maybe? I don’t know.
There were a group of people behind me who brought pool floats for crowdsurfing. That is an AWESOME idea. I told them my glitter story. Why didn’t I tell them my handstand story?! Anyway. I’m not sure if it didn’t work out or if I just couldn’t see it from where I was.
Naturally, I FINALLY hear from Justin as I’m giving up and leaving the park to head toward the Metro and Taking Back Sunday. I guess we’ll have to meet up another day.
Day 1 = COMPLETE
Day 2
I managed to find an entirely new section Day 2 that I totally missed Day 1 with lots of vendors selling cute things. There was handmade jewelry, record labels, t-shirts, and everything else in between.
I also found where they give out 21+ wristbands for alcohol. Did I actually use it to buy alcohol? With those prices, no way.
But I did get food. The people with the sweet tea remembered me.
Me and my Claudio Sanchez inspired pigtails.
The Vandals
I walked by and caught two songs. They were real punky, I was definitely a fan (reminder that this is a punk festival, so I could probably describe every band as punky), but I had other places to be.
I saw a girl wearing an I the Mighty sweatshirt. I told her I liked it and flashed her my tattoo, saying this would be my 17th time seeing them. She looked so happy to find another crazy fan. Same, girl, same. This festival is way too huge, and I’m mostly just here for those boys above all else.
Motion City Soundtrack
I talked to a group of guys for a little while. One was also from San Francisco and tried to get my number (mind you he didn’t even ask my name) and I told them about my concert/traveling lifestyle.
One asked what my favorite MCS song is:
Me: “…I’m not as familiar with them as I should be.”
Him: “But you’re in the pit!”
Me: “Well it’s their second to last show!”
Him: “Last?”
Me: “No, tomorrow night at the Metro is their last show.”
Me, not as familiar with them as I should be, and I still have to be the one to tell them there’s one last show they haven’t heard about. That’s my life.
The crowd surged forward right when they started playing. There was a guy with a cigarette right in my face. Ughhh whyyyy.
It wasn’t tightly packed where I was, but people kept hardcore shoving to get past into the pit. Unnecessary. I would move! There’s space, my dudes!
The keyboardist (Jesse Johnson) was super entertaining to watch. While frontman Justin Pierre, on the other hand, was getting emotional. Cute.
They said they got their start in Chicago so this was special. Starting and ending in the same city, ugh. Such cute.
It was good to see their original drummer, Tony Thaxton, playing with them again.
It was also really good to watch the rest of the crowd. I felt like I was watching myself at MY shows. This may not have been me, but it was a glimpse into these people’s world, which was really cool. It honestly made me kinda sad that they’re breaking up. I mean it IS sad regardless, but it brought me back to when The Matches announced their “break-up” in 2009. DESTROYED ME.
Anyway.
Come on, it’s Motion City Soundtrack, they’re awesome.
Crowdsurfers were all falling. Cringe. Read the crowd, people. This was not a crowd that was prepared for surfers AT ALL. One fell directly on my head at the end of the set, which was super cool.
The last two songs were “Everything is Alright” and “The Future Freaks Me Out.”
A girl tried to crowdstand during “The Future Freaks Me Out” but the crowd was confused and kept trying to pass her forward, while she keeps trying to just stand. (Two years later Lindsay: I normally have the opposite problem, wtf.)
There was a girl there with a sign of Justin’s face. Ya know, random things I notice.
The band took a group pic of the crowd at the end.
Aaaaand back to the rest of the festival.
What’s with all the hip-hop/rap at the Rise Stage all of a sudden? It wasn’t like that yesterday.
How early do I wanna be at I the Mighty’s stage? Do I wanna be in the front or in the pit? Will the crowd be able to surf me? These are the important questions.
I walked past The Hives while they asked everyone to sit down. No clue what that was about.
I found Porta Potties with no line and plenty of toilet paper on the other side of the park. Miracles!
The Descendents
There was a HUGE crowd, so I stayed way on the outskirts. Hearing the crowd cheering from that far away was weird.
The Descendents are cool. I saw them in a tiny venue in Boston once. Real short, quick, punky songs. I’m about it.
Then I left after four songs to catch some Brand New.
Brand New
Me attempting to describe my thoughts on Brand New: They were really good but kinda not my thing? I wish I liked ‘em more.
They’re not really pop or punk or heavy. Just kinda chillish?
But obviously I was in the minority on my thoughts, because the crowd was HUUUUUUGE. So naturally I was way in the back again.
There was a guy with an infant baby on his back. What the heck.
Since I wasn’t really feeling it, I peaced out after a few songs to camp out at I the Mighty’s stage.
Day 2, and yet again, where are my friends?! (All My Friends Are Dead) It seems like there are a lot more people here Day 2 than Day 1.
I passed by a girl with a hoop. I didn’t think Riot Fest was that kinda festival.
There was another tiny little acoustic stage, Soundstage, and I was really sad their lineup wasn’t on my map. I’m sure I was missing a bunch of bands I wanted to see, such as Sleep On It. I LOVE THEM.
Oh yeah, and there was also a ferris wheel. But I don’t like heights, so meh.
Death Spells
Never heard of ‘em, just at this stage because I the Mighty plays in like…a lot of hours.
Rappy, screamo-y, EDMish? I honestly have no idea what’s going on. No instruments, just a computer? Definitely not my thing.
Wait, is that Frank Iero or am I crazy? There were sooo many fangirls. Yep, it’s Frank Iero. His fans were 14 when I was 14! How are they still that young?!
White Lung
Frontwoman Mish Way was intense and a little cray. But I kinda liked it.
Mish after the first song: “Now that the stupid song that I hate is done, we can play!”
She danced a lot and said she couldn’t hear herself.
They’re very metal/hardcore punk, fast, loud, and angry, and a little screechy. Kinda badass. I was a fan. They definitely surprised me the most that day.
A dude squished his way into the barricade next to me. He was going hard. Props.
Mish jumped off the stage at one point and danced in front of/on top of the barricade, laid down on the ground, and did a somersault. She’s something, that’s for sure. I dig it.
I the Mighty
MY BOYSSSSS!
I only stayed in the front on the barricade for two songs. The girl repping I the Mighty from earlier was behind me and I gave her my spot on the barricade when I went back to mosh.
I was impressed by their turn out even though Morrissey was on at the same time.
There was some hardcore moshing at times. I got headbutted at one point. But then for other songs, I was the entire pit/only one singing.
The band threw out shakers to the crowd again for “Slow Dancing Forever” like they did on their last (current?) headlining tour. I didn’t get one this time. Boo.
Then of course there was the sexy snaps for “Miss Erray.” I crowdsurfed to that one.
A semi drunk girl grabbed me when I got back to the pit after my first surf and said I needed to go back up again. So I immediately went back up again. I almost got flipped over this surf. Whoops. And then the security guy who grabbed me gave me a hard time for dancing back to the pit.
“WALK.”
No. Fight me. I’m dancing.
I FINALLY found Justin in the pit, and Kaleigh for about half a second, but she didn’t come mosh.
The band’s tour manager Bear played guitar during “Speak to Me” so Brent could go nuts. Beautiful.
Lol @ me screaming along with the “Lady of Death” intro.
I crowdsurfed yet again to “The Dreamer” and got literally thrown. That’s always fun.
And then I unintentionally crowdstood. No one would help this guy lift me, so he picked me up by my thighs and I just kinda stayed there singing. He wanted to try again but the song was almost over and I was happy with the stand.
Day two was complete, and mostly a success.
Sorry I look incredibly lame, Justin. I’m much cooler on the internet, clearly.
Justin told me something that made me fume that he overheard during ITM’s set. I was so mad that I left the park without my backpack. Luckily security let me back in when I was clearly having all sorts of an emotional breakdown. Ya know. It’s all part of the festival experience.
I heard later that Morrissey was crazy late. People thought he might not show up at all because he’s crazy into PETA and there are too many barbecue places in Chicago. REALLY?! But he eventually did show up, and the vendors weren’t allowed to sell meat from 8-10pm while he was there. Crazy. Those people who waited for him deserve some kinda raincheck still though. I don’t think they ever got one.
Day 3
The Falcon played in the morning, and I know they’re a supergroup one of my Matches friends Jordan really likes. But I slept in a little bit, not super concerned with getting there right when the gates opened, so I missed them.
I was very salty Leftover Crack and Billy Talent were on at the same time. Cue me running between stages to try to catch as much as I could of both.
They weren’t the only ones I was upset about. There were too many bands I wanted to see on Day 3 that I was afraid I wouldn’t have time to eat, and then I’d die.
Also why is it still so friggin hot?!
Billy Talent
I could hear Billy Talent’s set starting from far away and I really dug it, so I decided to catch part of their set first even though I had planned on seeing Leftover Crack. Billy Talent’s real pop punk, fun sound. I’m about it. They played a lot of new songs off Afraid of Heights.
Leftover Crack
Luckily the two stages weren’t too far apart, so I ran mid-set to Leftover Crack. They are just straight up punk, with really rough voices, and it’s completely different but I really love them too.
Billy Talent pt. 2
I couldn’t make up my mind and finally settled on sitting in the grass closer to Billy Talent. I guess I was feeling it more that day. The frontman was making baseball jokes onstage. Cute.
Lemme just buy all the overpriced nonalcoholic drinks, okay thanks.
Andrew WK
Oh my god so much partying. I’ll be honest and say the only song of his I know is “Party Hard” but are ALL of his songs about partying?
He has such a shtick going for him that he feels like sort of a joke, except the music is also really fun so I honestly have no idea. I probably wouldn’t choose to listen to his music outside of Riot Fest, but again, he’s fun and the performance was fun.
I really appreciated the women in the band. I always appreciate the women.
Then I missed Tiger Army and the Wonder Years.
I caught a little bit of Thursday. I’m kinda indifferent to them. Like they were good, but I don’t know if I like them.
Bad Religion
Thumbs up to legit old school punk.
Sunday: The day I want to see all of the bands, but I’m not too heartbroken about missing any of them.
I’m tired and I want cake. It is still technically my birthday weekend. Maybe I should just leave and find cake and take a nap.
So here’s me ignoring all the bands I thought I wanted to see in order to shop some more. There were some really cute tank tops that I bought a few too many of. One said “Best memories come from bad idea” which is just too me not to buy. I also got one with giraffes on it for my sister. (Spoilers from two years later Lindsay: I just gave her that shirt a few days ago because I ended up losing it almost immediately, of course.)
Another cool thing about punk festivals: All the tattoos. I love seeing so many different tattoos and styles and thinking about the art and where they got the idea for them and found their artists. It’s cool. I just love it.
It’s also kinda funny comparing the range of outfits. “Nuke the whales” to “Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you,” and stereotypical festival outfits to punk vests. Everyone is here.
Underoath
I didn’t actively dislike them, but they’ve always been way too screamy for me. Meh.
I just sat in the grass during their set. The sun was kinda going down and it wasn’t as hot anymore. It was really nice out. Honestly I spent most of the day useless on the grass.
The guy working the PM Press table recognized me and asked if I’m from the Bay Area.
Him: “Oakland Metro?”
Me: “Yeah! World/Inferno!”
Deftones
Yet another that I just caught because I know a bunch of my friends like them. They’re very heavy. Not bad, just not me.
I wanted to see the So So Glos at a recommendation from another friend, but I wanted to leave more. Motion City Soundtrack’s final show was at the Metro (again) that night, so I figured it was about time to get food and get in line. And that’s the end of my first Riot Fest.
If there was another lineup this stacked, I would probably go again. Otherwise, festivals are tough, dude. I was so exhausted by the third day, and not to mention how weird festival crowds are. Everyone’s there for different bands, so it’s not all hardcore crazies like you find at headlining shows. It was fun for sure, but a totally new experience for me.
There were quite a few bands on my list I had hoped to catch that I was unable to, unfortunately. A lot of these I’m not familiar with, but have heard good things about from various friends. I might have missed them because they were playing at the same time as other bands I wanted to see, or I was too tired or just didn’t care enough to catch them. So my honorable (unseen) mentions are:
Big D and the Kids Table
Touche Amore
Dillinger Escape Plan
Pepper
NOFX
Pierce the Veil
Night Riots
Smoking Popes
Balance and Composure
Death Cab for Cutie
The Falcon
Tiger Army
The Wonder Years
Marina City
The Misfits
The So So Glos
